This is a script for a video on my YouTube channel. You can view it here:
I don't suppose you ever saw a recurring segment on Conan O'Brien's TBS show called Deon Cole breaks down the news? In this segment a really funny comedian called Deon Cole would deliver his take on a news story in the form of three bullet points while being trollied across the background. By the time he is about to disappear out of frame, he's usually boiled the story down to "Tell person X to shut the hell up!" It's a fairly simple premise, and it can be applied to almost anything. Especially when a wrestler, or in this week's case Tony Khan goes off on social media.
I can almost hear Deon saying "Tell Bryan Danielson to fine him for his tweets and then to shut the hell up..."
It's not as funny as anything Deon did, but the structure fits.
Rather than go on about Tony's tweeting habits, this got me thinking about the whole joke that's been going around lately about Bryan Danielson being able to fine wrestlers for their behaviour on social media. I don't know how true that is, but lately I've seen a lot less of certain wrestlers trading barbs with fans than I did weeks ago.
It seems like Danielson himself is in on the joke, asking the fans on twitter if he should fine Rocky Romero, who for years has worn an eyepatch. According to Rocky on AEW's Unrestricted podcast, he was inspired by the rapper Slick Rick, and saw a merch opportunity as nobody else was making custom eye patches. When Rocky appeared on a match graphic wearing it, Bryan threatened jokingly (I assume), to fine him for wearing the eye patch, as a reference to Bryan currently needing one to wrestle in.
It's not always clear because he's not the most public person these days, but Bryan when talking in real life seems to have a very dry, even sarcastic sense of humour. One example of this that has always stuck in my mind was his brief time as a running a YouTube channel in July and August 2011.
The channel still exits today under the name MrBryanDanielson. If it gets by YouTubes copyright system there'll be clips here, and if not check a link in the description to watch for yourself. On this channel there are only three videos, the second two are a series he started and quickly dropped called 'Technique of the week. In the first of these Bryan and a trainer called Neil Melanson demonstrate how to apply a Hammerlock, followed by Bryan doing this to what he calls clown music. In the second video he does this again, this time with a guillotine, and to the tune of a Ukulele song about Vampires. It's worth noting though that at this time Bryan was wrestling on the SmackDown brand, where he was holding the Money in the Back briefcase that he would eventually cash in to win his first WWE World title. His prominence on WWE TV might be why his YouTube series didn't last very long.
Whats more interesting though, is Bryan's first video. This is a two minute introduction to his channel, filmed vertically which is the nightmare of every content creator out there... In this video Bryan noted that WWE has told their roster to use social media more. Presumably they were referring to Tout, the platform they were relentlessly pushing on their TV around this time, which was essentially just Vine but somehow worse.
Bryan then goes on a whole rant about how he's going to use his new platform, repeatedly telling us he's going to "bury people". He puts a great deal of emphasis on how he wants to "bury people", repeatedly stating that he will "bury everybody". I can't quite express his enthusiasm for wanting to "bury people". He lists names like Shawn Michaels who trained him, William Regal who was an influence for him, Colt Cabana because it would be funny, among others. He does get his plugs in for his Facebook page and his website which no longer exists. Thankfully though we can see what it used to look like thanks to the wayback machine. From looking at the pages available he seemed to use his site like a blog, offering details about what he was doing in his life, training, and often continuing the sarcasm here as well.
To be honest, there wasn't a whole lot to this video other than me wanting to show you a new side of Bryan Danielson the side that buries people. It also came from being sick of peoples takes on Tony Khan's tweets from this past week, so if you are too, this quick video was for you.
Sources:
Romero eye patch https://wrestlingheadlines.com/rocky-romero-explains-why-he-wears-an-eye-patch-while-wrestling/
Danielson YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@mrbryandanielson
Intro video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Vtwdozi-Q&t=2s
bryandanielson.net wayback machine https://web.archive.org/web/20111101000000*/www.bryandanielson.net
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