A beginners guide to the rules of Pro Wrestling

This video was inspired by two things. Firstly, my girlfriend (yes, I have one), who recently watched an episode of Smackdown with me and has since become a fan of Cody Rh- I mean wrestling. She knows nothing about it though, and so this was made with her in mind, but if you're not a new fan I've also peppered it with a ton of sarcasm, so I hope you also get something out of it. The other inspiration is that last month marked twenty five years since the first time I saw wrestling and became a fan instantly. So yes, these are the ramblings of an old fan, aimed at a new one, sort of.

The rules of a wrestling match

There are many, many different types of wrestling match with different rules. Some are more traditional while others seem to come from the minds of absolute maniacs. Here are the standard rules of a wrestling match on top of which everything is based.

- The two main ways to win a standard pro wrestling match are pinfall or submission. A pin fall occurs when your opponents shoulders are held down on the ring mat until the referee counts to three. Seemingly, it is also an unwritten rule that wrestlers aren't allowed to break a pin at a one count, as it only seems to happen every time the groundhog see's its shadow.

Pinfalls can be broken by lifting a shoulder off the mat, sometimes helped by a wrestler kicking their legs up, which is where the phrase 'kick out' comes from. A wrestler can also break the count by touching or reaching under the ring ropes, known as a 'rope break'. This can be done with any body part, hand, foot or otherwise, but much like in sex, the tongue is usually more impressive.

The other key way to win, submission, occurs when a wrestler, usually in a hold of some kind, either verbally gives up or repeatedly taps the mat as a sign or surrender, known for short as a 'tap out'. It's most commonly thought that while tap outs existed in other sports, the ECW wrestler Taz innovated them in wrestling. His claim to this is that his finishing hold the katahajime, or the Tazmission, involves him wrapping his arm around the opponents jaw, thus disabling a verbal submission, so there had to be another way of wrestlers admitting defeat. Knowing Taz's reputation for being not the most pleasant man back in his wrestling days, its equally likely that no wrestler wanted to give him the satisfaction that comes from a verbal submission, and so would rather tap.

- Another way to win a wrestling match is by count out. This occurs when a wrestler is outside the ring for longer than the referees count of ten, and is declared the loser. When outside the ring, the referees count can be broken if a wrestler re-enters, and exits the ring again. In most companies the referee will count to ten, but some promotions particularly outside the US, the count can go up to twenty. In Europe this is so that the crowd can have a siesta part way through and not miss anything, because twenty counts feel like a fucking long time.

- The final way a match can end is by disqualification. This typically follows some kind of rule breaking. There are many, many things that a wrestler can be disqualified for, most of which are fairly obvious like low blows, joint manipulation or fish hooking. None of which are as kinky as they sound by the way. A DQ can also happen if a wrestler uses a weapon, sometimes referred to as a 'foreign object', or as we're supposed to say these days, 'international items'. Damn woke brigade.

Outside interference by anyone not officially part of the match will also cause the person on whose behalf they are interfering for to be DQ'd. The last thing to note about DQ's is that if a defending champion gets disqualified, they usually don't lose their title. This is in storyline, a way of ensuring that championships are won and lost fairly, but behind the scenes this is a way of letting a champion loose for whatever reason without taking the belt off them.

This is as the title says, a beginners guide, but if you are a long term fan like me I'd love to know what you think is relevant that I haven't talked about, so please let me know in the comments.